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"It's not like you haven't been here before. Anyway, this is my mental attic, where I keep my trash and once in a while trek up here. You are welcome, but try not to disturb things around. "

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carry on india

Stamped: 3:51 PM

[in collaboration with Akrur Barua (akrur@igidr.ac.in)]

What the hell are you terrorists thinking? You can just blast one bomb in a temple at Varanasi, another at Jama Masjid in Delhi and the two communities will be fighting against each other? That's the best you could come up with? Then you need serious consultancy.

If you really want to destabalise the economy, create an unholy atmosphere on the streets and in the process some innocents be killed, why waste money on crude bombs that even imams of mosques are not scared of? Just wait. Wait till some South Indian demigod passes away. You will have all of the above and more.
Mass hysteria. Unified people. Thousands and more. All on the streets. Torching anything and everything that comes in the way. One movement. One people. One sentiment. One motive.... err no motive actually! Policeman lynched on duty. Public and private property destroyed. India's IT capital shuts down. Poor rickshawallas livelihood burnt to ashes.

See, what we think is, if we want to get rid of Musharraf, just kill a Tamil-slash-Kannadiga actor and say that the Prez's personal bodyguard did it. The Prez will borrow technology from China and fly to Mars! Even he knows this.

It's called the changing preferences of the target audience. We no longer have religions (please leave the architectural masterpieces at Varanasi and Delhi alone!) neither do we have a civil conscience (**** ** **** ##* **** ** *** ***, **!). But we are fans. Fans of politicians, film stars, convex combinations, jokers, anyone.

Dear Vibha, you want to get rid of hunger, poverty and socio-economic injustice prevailing in the country, just talk with Dr. Rajkumar's son and tell him to make a public statement that it was his last wish. And then you see the effect. Medha Patkar, are you listening?

Psst Akrur, what are we doing with Exchange-Rate Pass Through models and Chaos Theoretical Perspective to Crisis Modelling? We should start strategic consultancy to JeM, LeT, Pentagon, IGIDR admissions officer?

coming up: Solutions to Israel-Palestine conflict.

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  • Blogger skohari says so:
    6:06 PM  

    with due respect to Dr. Rajkumar. May his soul rest in peace. top

  • Blogger Padma says so:
    7:37 PM  

    hehehe...Schazeb, what pleased me most about this post was that you have said 'Kannadiga/Tamilian' and didn't say 'Madrasi'- you are actually acknowledging that there are different kinds of South Indians!!..Or was it Akrur who wrote that bit?
    May Annavru's soul rest in peace. But slim chances of that given all the atrocities being committed in his name. top

  • Blogger Sam J says so:
    11:16 PM  

    seriously insightful, dudes!! looking forward to your solution to the mid-east conflict.... top

  • Blogger Gaurav says so:
    6:54 PM  

    How cool is that, one of the best articles I have ever seen.
    I agree with my dear colleagues, star power is underutilised. Medha Patkar has to go on hunger strike nobody reacted untill she was in hospital, Aamir khan just visited the site and everybody knows what is the matter.
    But the real example of communal harmony is what really touched me.
    I don't know whether I am eligible or not, consultancy mein kaam milega kya(I will apply).
    Looking for the next post.. top

  • Blogger Vibha says so:
    6:12 PM  

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    i see a bright future as stand up comedians for the two of you...
    honestly.
    on a more serious note...i doubt if my problems with the world would get sorted out that way...i mean..
    MG Ramachandran from Tamil Nadu being case in point.
    but your post was outrageously hilarious. i can see the assamese element...
    and i am convinced that it was Barua who added the Kannadiga/Tamilian bit. coz for Kohari everyone below Bombay belong to a homogeneous clan called "Madrasi"
    Right-O Padma!! top

  • Blogger sowmya says so:
    1:15 PM  

    loved this. :-) top

  • Blogger Saumya says so:
    10:40 PM  

    waiting for the Israel-Palestine solution!
    PS Am Saumya ..Vibha's friend top

  • Blogger Saumya says so:
    12:35 PM  

    ohhh!! wus really egt to read sumthin as funny!!! top

  • Blogger Saumya says so:
    2:31 PM  

    okie i guess i rote the last comment when I was drunk cos it means nuthin(kudos to u for deciphering it!:):)) !!!.and yes wud love to read about your'funny' life! top

  • Blogger meghu says so:
    3:51 PM  

    hey
    its me. meghana. am leaving for delhi today was reading up on everyones blog. might be gone for a long time.

    give me a ring sometime.

    i read shreyas blog. nice. very dreamer stuff. top

  • Blogger Sahar says so:
    3:09 AM  

    I am thinking... carry on, SCHAZEB! Kahan ho yaar? What is this?! My blog feels so incomplete without your mental debris...

    Gussa! top